Thursday, March 11, 2010

So, I suck.

I mentioned this thing on the little sidebar of my Facebook page, and Matt mentioned I should remove it because I hadn't posted in a long time. I knew that was true, but I wasn't sure how long it had been. So I checked.

Six months... and two days.

If you count February as a full month.

Yeah, so I fail. But that's okay - I knew that would happen. :P

The fact is that I have a dozen journals - or at least six - and a couple other blogs that never amounted to anything. I know I'm inconsistent. That's why I tried to pick a title I would really like for a long time, because I knew that if this thing is going to last, it won't be because I updated it every Sunday by 9pm. It would be because I'd keep coming back to it, even if I'd ignored it for a long period of time.

So for better or worse, in sickness or in health, in apathy or lethargy, it's here to stay. Here I do intend, 'till crashed servers or utter incompetence do us part. Amen.

Perhaps I'll write something meaningful tomorrow.

We'll see. ;)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Scriptwriting makes my heart happy

We had a Scriptwriting for Games class today, and it was awesome. The teacher is actually an accomplished writer, we actually got to talk about theory and concepts and such, it basically made me happy inside to have a class like that.

It also makes me want to work more on my game idea.

We have that class basically so that we can write good stories for games, which is of course what I love and what I think makes for the most memorable and dearly treasured games. If I'm going into the game industry, and I am ever in charge of making a game, I can tell you now that I will not be happy unless it is something beautiful, and involved, and deep and that creates in you a sense of affection and empathy for the characters.

I have a game idea started, but I'm having a hard time coming up with a story for it. But of course, knowing me, I have to be the one to come up with the story. Anyone else doing so would feel like something false slapped on - it has to be me. I have a vague direction, but it sorely needs to be defined and closed in, made specific so that I can focus on the lovely peripherals of interaction that bring the plot to life.

Sometimes, I really marvel at all the levels of things that go into a story which make it great. I really don't know how people do all of it - I look at a wonderful story, and when I start to pick apart why it's good, I see thousands and thousands of details and nuances, and while they leave me appreciating it more and having the sense of wonder you only get when you love a story, I also can't make the mental leap to creating something like that myself.

And yet people do it.

I think that for most people who are naturally talented at writing, a lot of the nuances that make something good come out intuitively and instinctually. And perhaps they do for me too. But I also try to do everything, every aspect that makes it beautiful consciously, and while something in me says that that's a strength and it will help me attain that better level of creativity, part of me also really wishes I could just give up and fake it, and just enjoy what comes out like most people seem to do.

Perhaps I spend so much time trying to use all the techniques and find a way to fit them all together that I stifle any ideas I might have... I think I need to get back to soul-searching for a story I want to tell without trying to make it fit anything. Then maybe I can finally narrow it down enough to get to the next steps in the creation of my game idea.

Jesus, I - I want to create something beautiful. And though I know this is something of a first venture, I don't want it to be something amateurish, and while I want it to be heart-wrenching and deep, I don't want it to be preachy, cheesy or fake. I want it to be fun, I want it to be amazingly beautiful/interesting/intriguing, and full of atmosphere. I want it to be unique and creative. And I want it to point to you somehow, in a way that can be seen but is not religious-sounding. And I want it to be real someday. I want it to make a difference to real people.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Brainstorm: Sea of Grass

I have had the most AWESOME idea for a world. Nobody steal it, it's copyrighted.

I was messing around on DeviantArt, and came across a digital painting called "Sea of Grass." It showed a fuzzy giant horse-thing being attacked by giant wolves. As I looked at it I lazily thought "Wouldn't it be cool if there was an actual sea of grass?" Then I realized what I'd just thought of and realized "WOW, that would be so cool!"


Blades of grass, inches thick, and half a foot to four feet wide at the surface, widening towards the ground, and rooted 20,000 leagues down, an entire ecosystem living within it's rippling waves.

The animals are generally light, and have a good grip, so that they can walk/leap from blade to blade. The wildlife gets larger and has to get used to lower light the deeper the blades go. On the surface, wind waves the blades just like a wheat field, but the sight stretches on for miles upon miles.

It starts at its edge as normal-looking grass. Then the grass gets longer - knee length. Then to your shoulders. Soon it's the height of corn, and it only gets deeper. And it would have a real, tangible thickness to it, like aloe vera.

I have vague mental images of the kinds of creatures who would live in an ecosystem like that - I imagine it would be very reminiscent of a kelp forest. There would be mushrooms, also gigantic, providing islands in the sea and stops partway down the blades. Creatures would shelter under the curve of them, like trees, grass going far up past them.

xD It would be so cool! I want to make this world now. I'd have to flesh it out a lot - you'd probably have different types of grasses. A "dangerous" part of the sea would of course have sawblade grass. :P

This could be absolutely, breathtakingly vivid if pursued to the full capacity of the world. I feel like it's one of my most original ideas. :) So often it's hard to think of something that feels different or unique, and not just a modification of something you just saw. I hope I can use it someday. Not for a game - not at this point in history, anyways. It would be far too difficult to do the idea justice; it just wouldn't be worth it. But it would make a good book, I think.

I definitely come up with ideas based on appearances of things. I imagine how something might look - a creature, a costume, a world - and ideas spur from there. I don't think in terms of stories, or at least, not in a defined and fleshed-out way. I more think "This is what it looks like when things are happening", not "This is what is happening."

I need to practice drawing anatomy and faces... there's so much I want to learn, I almost can't imagine actually knowing it. But I really do want to.

I need to bring sketching materials with me when I go camping...

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My parrot and I may very well have days like this:

I'll love 'im anyways. :)

Monday, August 24, 2009

Parrots, parrots everywhere. And I don't know which I want.

As a few people may know, for as long as I can remember, I thought it would be cool to own a parrot. Over the last year, I've done a lot of research into parrots - their care, the differences between the personalities of different species, etc. And I still don't know which one I want. :/

There's just so many different species, lots of them with wonderful qualities. I think a lot of the problem narrowing down the "perfect" choices is that there are lots that generally sound good and have most, if not all, of the qualities I want, and the fact that they vary among individuals. For example, Eclectus parrots sound great overall, except that the females (which I think look more beautiful) are more agressive. But then, not ALL females will be like that, so if I talked with a breeder and got the right girl, she might be perfect. Or she might not. Basically, there are species that I love the look of but don't sound perfect, but I still wonder because I might be able to get an individual that was fine.

So, it took me a while to do this because I was keeping everything in my head, but now I'm going to be systematic about it. I'll make a profile for each bird I'm interested in, and then eliminate them that way. I want to make sure I make a good choice, because the bird would be part of my daily life for anywhere from 10-60 years, depending on which species I get.

Pyrhurra conures will have to have their own category, with the differences between different pyrhurras... they all supposedly have the same basic personality, but some people have noticed generic differences. I'll also have to figure out just how effective training can be, especially for things like agression towards people they're not bonded to. I want to know if I could potentially train that problem out. :/

Anyways, this is the list I made of what a parrot will need to have.

*All assuming correct training and socialization.

-Cuddly, will be touched anywhere
-Sweet and loving
-Can simply sit and be with you sometimes
-Peaceful, does not bite
-Screams are not very loud or piercing
-Generally uses a soft voice when vocalizing
-Will be friendly to anyone
-Is not overly destructive
-Mimic or speak, even just a couple words.
-Has a little substance to it.
-Not too messy
-Single bird will stay gentle and tame when neglected

And these are the parrots I'll go through (the list will likely be added to and taken away from.)


All the Pyrhurra conures
Peach-fronted Conure
Meyer's Parrot
Princess of Wales Parakeet
Hahn's Macaw
Peachface Lovebirds
Indian Ringneck
Eclectus (female)
Black-headed Caique

Gotta say I like this colour scheme...

It makes me happier inside, being so bright and cheery. There may be times... well, okay, there WILL be times... when I'm writing something deeper and sadder and more sober, and I imagine the colour scheme won't quite fit the mood. :P But then I can be a depressing person in my own mind sometimes, so something that makes me genuinely bright certainly can't be harmful. :)

It's not just the brightness, because I would be happy with a muted and "sophisticated" colour scheme as well. I think the mix of colours is beautiful.

...Haha, I'm watching an episode of DS9, and a nerd-type is being subjected to the local Klingon restaurant, complete with the husky proprietor singing Klingon opera. Poor guy.

Anyways. That's my comment, and I'm finished for today. That's enough rambling, I'm far too good at it.

Signing off.

I Love Quotes!

I love quotes in general. There's some really great things said in the world. And for times when I'm lazy, some of those quotes, funny, short, long, deep, or inane, will probably find their way here. It's the cheapskate's way out. But this is my blog, so I figure I can flood it with whatever I want. :P

Song lyrics I suppose can go under the category of "Quotes" too. I'll be posting those also. :)

"The inspiration of art is a myth... which misreads the fact that art is worship into fiction that art is humanity acting like God."
~Calvin Seerveld